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The holiday season is upon us, a special time full of family, food, presents, holiday parties and wintery weather. But, as fun as this time of year may be, the things that we love about the holidays can also take a toll on our mental health.

Stressors, such as loneliness, anxiety about time with extended family and financial worries, can steal some of your joy during the holidays. Learning how to navigate these feelings and other concerns that overwhelm you can make the season brighter.

Here are some tips to do just that!

Dealing without family

The holidays are all about spending time with family. But what if you don’t have any family around? Being all alone while everyone near you is celebrating with family can make you feel sad and lonely. These feelings also can trigger preexisting mental health or substance abuse issues. The answer? Find healthy, productive ways to fill that time.

“Put your own mental and physical well-being first,” says Joanna Thompson, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner at Sentara Behavioral Health Specialists - Hampton. “Find a good book to read, do some more exercising, and set those New Year’s resolutions. Do those self-care activities that help you take your mind off what’s going on.”

Another tip is to help others in need. This can get you out of the house and around others. Helping others can also put your troubles into perspective.

“When we feel bad, helping others can make us feel better,” says Thompson. “Volunteer somewhere to make that personal connection.”

Dealing with family

Not having family around during the holidays is hard, but for many people, the opposite is true. Family can stress us out, but there’s also a lot of pressure to be around family during the holidays. Ultimately, you need to value your mental health and take the steps necessary to guard it.

“Protect your peace,” says Aerian Joyner, a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner at Sentara Behavioral Health Specialists - Hampton. “If that means making plans not to participate in social gatherings, it’s OK to do that.”

If you have issues with a particular family member or family gatherings often devolve into shouting matches about politics or other sensitive topics, then make a point of talking to your family about it before you arrive.

“Set those boundaries ahead of time,” says Thompson. “You can tell them ‘Let’s talk before I come over. Let’s agree to disagree and make this about family time. And if not, then I have to do what's right for me and leave.’”

‘Tis the season for stress

In addition to family, the holidays offer a cocktail of stressors that can keep you from enjoying “the most wonderful time of the year.” Here are a few of the biggest ones, and some suggestions on how to set yourself up for success this year:

• Financial stress. Buying presents can put a serious strain on your bank account. Make a budget ahead of time and stick to it. You’ll thank yourself in January when those credit card bills come due!
• Substance abuse. Whether it’s drinking too much at holiday parties or self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, you may have a tough time staying in control this time of year. If this is an issue you’re concerned about, try to surround yourself with positive friends who can help keep you accountable, and make a plan for how to get through those holiday parties.
• Seasonal affective disorder. Whether or not you’ve been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (SAD), you may find the winter months leave you more susceptible to depression and anxiety. Try to get outside every day, even if it’s just on your lunch break, and get plenty of exercise. Expose yourself to sunlight daily, even when it’s cold!

Make a plan and stick to it

As challenging as this time of year can be, you have one advantage: you know it’s coming. Being proactive rather than reactive can help you to avoid the worst stressors.

“The major theme is to plan ahead. Plan ahead for your triggers, try to avoid those things that might take you into a downward spiral,” says Joyner. “Try to look for the positive things that can come out of going into a new year, versus the things that may be seen as a negative.”

Of course, planning is often easier said than done, and many of us don’t realize we’re having a hard time until it’s happening. If you’re already in therapy and have someone you can see, don’t hesitate to schedule extra sessions this time of year or to reach out if you have an emergency. And if you’re feeling like you might harm yourself or others, please call 911 for emergency services or dial 988 to reach the suicide and self-harm hotline.

The holidays can be a wonderful time of year or an awful time of year, but for most of us, it’s a mixture of both. The most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself and kind to those around you.

“Remember to have grace. Have grace for other people, grace for yourself,” says Thompson. “Some people really love the holidays, but most of us run into hiccups.”

Learn more about Sentara Behavioral Health and find resources to help you with this holiday season.